


The Quiet Moments Between

by FereldenRose



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Comfort, Dress Up, F/M, First Kiss, Kissing, Making Out, Secret Relationship, suggestive conversation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-18
Updated: 2017-01-19
Packaged: 2018-09-09 15:10:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8896045
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FereldenRose/pseuds/FereldenRose
Summary: Just some fluff, filling in the blanks during those quiet moments at Skyhold between Elena Trevelyan and her commander.





	1. Chapter 1

“If you need to-”

A small cry of surprise left her lips as Cullen covered them with his own and pulled her close. She felt his hand cup her face as his other gripped her waist. It took a second or two to realize what was happening and then an instant after to realize how much she liked it. He was soft and practiced and sweet. The kiss was not timid, but it was gentle, and just as her head began to swim, he pulled away.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his face still close. “That was...really nice.” Elena watched his jagged lip scar tick up in a small smile as she caught her breath. The scar had tried to lessen the perfection of his lips, but had somehow only made them that much more desirable to her. 

She returned his smile and raised one eyebrow at him. “That...was what I wanted.” The two of them had been dancing around their feelings for weeks. It was clear they cared for each other, but Elena had finally wanted to have the conversation. It seems he had received it well. 

“Oh. Good,” His low whisper sent a pang of need through her, and he kissed her again. Even after their interruption, she didn’t care if anyone else saw them on the battlements, and she cared even less as his lips parted hers just enough for their tongues to share a light caress. They kissed and kissed, their warm breath on each others’ faces, her fingers buried in his thick curly hair to pull him as close as possible. 

Before, they’d exchanged smiles and gazes that had made her stomach flutter. She’d caught him staring at her more than once and loved the attention of his eyes. And now, finally she commanded the attention of his lips and hands, which dutifully rested on her waist in a gentlemanly fashion. He pressed her back to the wall, and his armor held her trapped there, a mere inch away. She sighed into his mouth. 

When their lips finally parted, their foreheads met, and she couldn’t stifle a grin.

He chuckled with an endearing awkwardness and looked away from her, suddenly shy again. She wondered with some sense of satisfaction how someone so confident could blush so easily around her. When he met her eyes again he backed off just a little and they shared a smile.

“Well. It’s a shame I can’t stay just a little longer,” she said, regretting that she was scheduled to leave for The Emerald Graves in just moments. It would be at least two weeks until she would see him again.

He responded with a low chuckle. “I suspect I’ll find myself thinking of little else but your return.”

She smirked. “Commander, our forces will need you to focus.”

He laughed. “Of course, Inquisitor..”

She fell into his soft, affectionate eyes for a moment before standing up straight. “I should...get ready…” She could feel how flushed her cheeks were in the cold air.

He nodded and stepped away, releasing her body from the delicious prison of his. “Be careful.”

“I’ll return soon.”

“I shall look forward to it.”

She smiled, and stepped past him, heading for the stairs. Her legs were surprisingly shaky. She hadn’t felt this girlish in years. She turned to offer him one more flirtatious glance before she was out of sight. This would be a long couple of weeks..


	2. Chapter 2

Two weeks turned to three due to surprisingly wily Venatori activity. Elena was tired of sleeping on the ground. She was dirty and bruised and scratched, and her mage staff had been snapped in half. But she and the others were alive and that was important. She glanced at Solas, Bull, and Cole. They were all dirty as well, and needed a well deserved rest. 

The sun was already setting as they rode through the gate to Skyhold and were immediately greeted by the stable staff, and a few nearby onlookers. Elena thought it strange that any nobles would want to come stay in a drafty castle, but she hoped they at least enjoyed the tavern, and appreciated all of the hard work everyone at the hold was doing. She dropped from her horse, groaned with stiffness, and handed the reins to the young stable lad. She nodded her thank you and patted her horse as he was led away. 

She smiled when she saw Cullen headed toward her with a subtle smile on his face as well. Maker she’d missed his smile. She’d thought of him in every quiet moment, even blushed a couple of times. She’d thought about him so much that she’d scolded herself for her girlish indulgence. She wondered if he’d thought of her as well. 

“Inquisitor,” he nodded. “Welcome back.”

“Thank you.” They began walking up the stairs toward the main part of the keep. “I assume you got my report.”

“Yes, several days ago in fact. Good news all around it seems.” They passed a few folks, who nodded and expressed a welcome to her, and headed to the war room. “Josephine, Leliana, and Cassandra are already in the war room awaiting your debrief.”

They chatted normally, filling the space with necessary information and updates until they entered Josephine’s office, where her assistant was organizing some papers at her desk. She nodded at them.

“There are further developments in the area too. We’ll need to discuss Fairbanks more.”

He nodded. “It will be interesting to hear what Josephine has to say about that.”

They entered the long cold hallway to the war room and Cullen closed the door behind them. In the shadows, he took her hand, prompting her to stop walking and turn to face him. He exhaled a breath that he’d seem to be holding awhile. 

“I was relieved to get your report.” He kept his voice low as he stepped closer to her. “I’m glad you’re back.” She had missed his eyes, and the way they softened his usually serious expression when he looked at her. 

She stepped forward, wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a hug. She felt his arms envelope her and pull her gently into his metal breast plate. He often wore it, particularly for training, but she wished that it wasn’t between them at the moment. She knew she must smell dreadful, and look a fright but she didn’t care. She needed this comfort. He seemed to need it as well. 

One of his hands began a slow, firm descent from between her shoulder blades, and stopped at her lower back. It was a simple, innocent, affectionate touch, but she melted under it as the warmth spread from her spine, to her arms and legs, and settled somewhere in her middle. 

She looked up at him to find that his affectionate gaze of relief had been replaced with a stark desire that made her ache shamelessly. Her fingers moved into the the base of his curly hair, and she exhaled a shaky breath.

“I have been thinking of you,” he began in a quiet voice. His lips parted to continue when from the end of the hall, Elena heard the door to the war room open. Reflexively, the two of them parted as quickly as possible and began their walk as if they’d never broken stride.

“It’s worth looking into,” Cullen said. His voice caught and he cleared his throat as they approached Leliana.

“We have been waiting,” she said with a musical lilt, and at once Elena was sure she had caught them. Her face flushed at the idea, but she ignored it as much as possible, hoping that they’d parted before the door had opened completely. Now was not the time to worry about romance, she reminded herself. She mentally prepared herself for the long discussion that was sure to occur. 

By the time they finished, Elena was dead on her feet. She excused herself from the group as they discussed a bit longer, taking care not to offer more than a cordial glance in Cullen’s direction. She needed a bath and sleep. A shame, she thought that she’d be doing both alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More soon. :)


	3. Chapter 3

There were daily duties and preparations for her upcoming voyage to The Fallow Mire, a name which Elena thought probably was exactly as it sounded. Business for the last few days had mainly kept her interactions with Cullen to brief public hellos and strategy discussions with her advisers. 

She had been thinking about him and often, particularly late at night while staring at the ceiling in her quarters. More than once she had thought of going to him or asking for him to join her there after Skyhold fell silent at night. But she decided a quick invitation to bed might complicate their budding affection for each other. She needed to have her head and heart clear before taking that step.

Still, alone in her bed she imagined him next to her, imagined his strong, warm chest pressed to her bare back, imagined his lips on her neck and his hands sliding down her body. Her own hands would have to do in their place for now, and for the last several nights she had found that fantasy and breathless release were required for her to even get to sleep. Last night, it was his supple tongue descending on her sensitive skin, and she imagined digging her fingers into the crown of his curly hair as he ministered to her.

She sighed as she headed toward the stables to meet with Dennett. She'd be leaving with her party in only a few moments and had hoped to see Cullen beforehand. She felt her cheeks flush as she caught sight of him heading her way. She was sure he would be able to tell what she had been thinking of.

As he grew closer she smiled. "Hello Cullen," she greeted cheerfully. He looked distracted as he looked up, almost as if he wasn't sure who was speaking to him. He nodded, but did not smile.

"Inquisitor," he said. His head bowed again then as he strode past her before she could speak again. She supposed he must be busy, his focus narrowed to whatever task he had set himself to do, but she stood there looking after him feeling a bit foolish, and a bit slighted. He knew that she'd be gone for at least a week, and she had hoped for a proper goodbye. Disappointed, she shook her head and walked to the stables.

Once she, Blackwall, Varric, and Dorian were packed up and mounted on their horses, they headed to the gate where several people stood by to wish them well. She noticed Cullen's absence as Leliana and Josephine approached her.

"Remember," Leliana said. "The Avvar can be savage. Do not take risks you shouldn't, even to save our men. I shall expect your report."

Elena nodded. "Understood. Have you seen Cullen by chance?" She tried to sound as casual and nonchalant as possible, but she wasn't sure she succeeded.

"He is down with the troops doing drills," Cassandra answered as she approached. "I am headed there now."

"He's working the new recruits extra hard today it seems," Leliana said. 

"Is there something you wished to tell him?" Cassandra asked.

Elena thought for just a second. Taking a moment to consider would have seemed obvious so she quickly shook her head.

"No. I was just curious." She shrugged.

"Be safe, Inquisitor." Josephine offered a demure wave as Elena and the others rode off. 

She did her best to shake it off and focus on the task at hand. There was nothing she could do at the moment, so she’d have to put it out of her mind. One final glance down the hill toward the soldiers, and then she took a deep breath and resigned herself to her task.

***

In the distance he could see them leaving Skyhold, leaving the mountains for who knew how long. Idiot, he called himself. Somehow it had completely slipped his mind that she was leaving today. He felt like a fool. And he felt sick to his stomach, mostly because of his Lyrium withdrawal.

"Run it again!" He yelled to the raw recruits nearby. "And this time pay attention!" He had already put them through drills earlier in the day and he knew they were tired, but they needed it. Some of the newer men and women had barely held a sword before he’d gotten to them, and he would do his damndest to make sure they survive in battle. In addition, he needed the distraction. He could have let one of the more senior officers handle it, but he felt more in control when focused on the physical side of his job instead of paperwork. 

His head had been pounding the last two days, and he was growing weary and shaky. He knew it would pass, as it always did, but part of him wondered if he would ever be free of it or if he would have to endure bouts of withdrawal forever. 

Worse than anything though, he suspected he'd hurt Elena's feelings. He'd quite obviously brushed her off not moments before she was to leave on a dangerous mission. Regret stung him hard. He had been avoiding her for the last few days, reluctant to let her see him alone in his current state. He might not have been able to hide it from her as he’d discovered she was apparently as observant as Leliana. He had hoped that she hadn't noticed much, but now she was most certainly thinking back on their recent interactions. He prayed she wasn’t questioning his feelings for her, but how could she not be with the way he’d acted? You fool, he thought.

"Good, Parker. Again!"

He should have pulled her to a shadowy corner of the keep and kissed her until their lips were raw and swollen. He should have told her to be careful, should have held her as tight as he could for just a few moments. Maker watch over her, he thought. 

The horror that harm should come to her had featured prominently in his nightmares for the past few nights. As usual it seemed the demons in his dreams knew exactly how to torture him. Visions of Elena injured, dead, or tortured assaulted him. He'd seen her as a mage twist into an abomination and cry out in pain and fear. He’d seen her made tranquil and had to endure her blank, emotionless stare. He'd jolted awake, sweat covered and panting four nights in a row. It was enough to make him wish he would never sleep again. 

"The Inquisitor has gone." Cullen heard Cassandra approach and looked her way. He squinted as the sunlit snow below her brightened to an unbearable level for just a second or two before returning to normal. He was beginning to be sensitive to light too. He nodded to her.

"You look awful," she said. Cassandra, blunt as ever had come to know the signs of his withdrawal, and she was the only one he trusted with his secret, and he was thankful to have her as an ally in this. He needed her honesty and her judgement.

"I feel fine," he lied. There was a long pause before he heard her sigh. 

"Go rest, Cullen. I can take over from here."

"I said I'm alright," he insisted in a gruff manner. He refused to let her, especially her, play nursemaid. Her concern was genuine, but he was feeling stubborn today.

"Cullen." Her voice was forceful this time, suggesting she wouldn't take no for an answer. He wanted to push back, insist on staying, prove that he was capable of finishing out the day, but he knew he simply couldn't. He hated the idea of leaving his post, but he hated even more the thought that his troops would see him in his weakened state. He growled in frustration.

He walked off with his jaw set, angry at no one but himself. He'd been irritable and quick to anger these last few days as well. And while he was not generally a cheerful sort, he had been uncharacteristically unpleasant and scowling the past few days. It was another reason he'd limited his contact with Elena. 

Though he'd originally planned on staying in the barracks with the troops when they'd come to Skyhold, he was grateful to have his private quarters just above his office. There he could rest without his vulnerabilities laid bare for all to see. It had been difficult to hide his worse off days in Haven while sleeping just feet away from a snoring recruit.

He climbed the steep staircase to his simple quarters and lit a fire in the fireplace. It was always cold in there, even as spring was beginning to turn to summer in Skyhold. The cold didn’t bother him much, being Ferelden, but he was glad that the frigid air was starting to give way to slightly warmer breezes around the keep. A small bed, a worn rug, an armor stand, and a foot locker for his clothes were all that sat in the space he called home. 

He removed his armor and his boots and sat on the edge of his bed. He was sweating, and a chill began to take over him. He tucked in under the thick blankets and curled into a ball. He shivered and as the moments wore on he fought off wave after wave of nausea with his eyes and jaw shut tight. 

At last, when he could take it no longer, and felt seconds away from screaming, he felt Elena's hand on his forehead. A moment later her cool lips touched his feverish cheek. He opened his eyes to a blurry vision of her, that when it cleared, her beautiful face, framed in light, appeared with a smile. She whispered his name and bestowed a light kiss on his lips. His body stopped seizing. 

Without another word she slid under the covers next to him and drew him close. With his head pillowed on her breast, he could hear the beat of her heart, a constant comforting rhythm in his ear. He wrapped his leg around hers, entangling himself in her warmth, and as he lay there his eyes closed, his jaw unclenched, and his tight muscles softened.

He felt her fingers begin to trace his brow and run through his hair. He inhaled her soft, feminine   
scent as the arm he had draped over her tightened to a firm cling. Before long he drifted into  
a restful sleep. 

When he awoke she was gone of course. He knew that it had been only a pleasant dream, but for the first time in days he felt rested and well. The sun was low in the evening outside, meaning he'd slept for at least three hours without any nightmares. 

He sat up. He felt groggy and stiff, and his body still ached, but otherwise his headache had gone and he was feeling much better. He recognized this as a sign that he was through the worst of it. That was good. There was a lot of work to do. He smiled at the memory of his dream. She had brought him some peace, and for that he was thankful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes I know there aren't stairs in Cullen's quarters, but I like having them here instead of that huge ladder. :D


	4. Chapter 4

Rain and muck and corpses. The Fallow Mire had been all that it promised it would be, and Elena felt pity for the soldiers staying there at camp to hold their position. At least they’d gotten home a couple of days early with all of their injured, but alive soldiers in tow. The Avaar had not been kind, and Elena’s ankle had twisted badly in a fight with their leader as she dove out of the way of his war hammer. She almost always got bruises and cuts if an enemy got too close, and more than once she’d been saved by someone bashing the enemy with a shield, skewering them with an arrow, or engulfing them in flames. 

She was no warrior. Though she knew the basics of self defense, she lacked the muscular build of Cassandra, having instead a fairly soft, trim frame. She had gotten much stronger these last few months though, and it was in large part because of the exercises Bull had her doing. The two of them together must have made for a comical sight.

Cullen had known that as a mage, Elena was nearly unmatched at a distance, but he also knew she was vulnerable in close quarter fights. He had insisted, when she arrived at Haven in teaching her how to better defend herself. He was tough on her, but clear in his instructions. She worked with him again and again until everything was a reflex and she could barely stand upright. She understood why he commanded such respect from his troops. She hadn’t paid much attention to it at the time, but as she thought of it she remembered his hands on instruction, his confident manipulation of her arm positions, her stance, his hands on her hips and shoulders. 

Cullen. She’d done her best not to think of him, the whole time she was gone. At least dangerous adventuring was good for getting her mind off things, she thought. But now, as she rode up to the gates of Skyhold, her stomach fluttered just a little. She wasn’t sure what to expect from him. Could it be that he had simply flipped so suddenly on his feelings and had wanted to avoid the conversation about it? He didn’t strike her as someone who had trouble communicating aside from the occasional adorable stammer. Her worry turned to annoyance the more she considered it. She would need to confront him about it, and she hoped to do so as soon as possible. 

Their envoy was greeted by many fellow soldiers who helped the others out of the wagons and exchanged a few hearty hugs and handshakes. Cullen was there to pat a few on the back and make sure they were in one piece. When he caught sight of Elena though, he headed straight for her as she began to dismount. 

“Inquisitor, be careful of your injury,,” Cassandra said. “Let Cullen help you down.”

Instantly, he was at her side, and a shadow of concern fell over his face. “You’re hurt? I’ll take you to the healer.”

“I’m alright,” She swung her leg over her horse’s neck and sat side saddle above him. “It’s just my ankle. The healers can focus on the soldiers. They need more help.”

She reached down to plant her hands on his broad shoulders as he reached up to grip her waist. He caught her as she slid off and placed her gently on the ground. He didn’t let go.

“Are you sure?” he asked. His face was close and he hadn’t released her from his grip yet. For a second she was taken in by his gaze, and then remembered where they were. 

“Yes. Thank you,” She stepped back from him and tried to put weight on her ankle, but she teetered and he caught her again.

“Really I’m fine,” she said simply. “I’ve already been seen to and it’s as good as it will get for now.” She gently removed her arm from his grip, more out of her simmering annoyance than independence. “She nodded at him, turned and started to hobble toward what she remembered as being fewer stairs. Her ankle burned and throbbed, and she bit her lip, determined to hide the pain from her face. She had only gotten a few steps before she felt an arm slide around her waist, and a hand take her elbow.

“Please,” Cullen’s voice was hushed. “Let me.” He curled her arm around his neck and steadied her there by holding her wrist.

Her need for assistance outweighed her pride, and she nodded and leaned into him, taking some of the pressure off of her foot. 

They was an awkward silence between them as they moved through the crowd of concerned onlookers, up the stairs and into the keep. Elena laughed off her injury to those who approached her with concern, and she and Cullen headed to the door to her quarters. She silently thanked the Maker that the carpenters had constructed a simple rising platform, as the mountainous, rickety staircase sounded hellish to her at the moment. Still silent, Cullen leaned Elena onto the railing and went about releasing the brakes. The platform jerked and creaked as it began its ascent through the middle of the tower, the quiet clicks and groaning of ropes the only sound. 

Cullen cleared his throat. “I’m glad you’re back safely,” he said. “I didn’t get to see you off and…”he sighed. “Well I… need to apologize for the other day.”

“It’s alright, Cullen. You seemed busy.”” Though she wanted to let it go, the persistent annoyance simply wouldn’t leave her be. She knew she sounded petty, but she couldn’t help it. 

“No, It’s not alright. I was rude and I… before you left…” he was struggling. “I was not myself that day and I’m sorry.”

“Not yourself?” She raised an eyebrow, more out of concern than anything. “Not yourself? That’s why you ignored me…”

“I didn’t… I… I didn’t ignore you.” 

“Look,” she said. “We can talk about it later.” Her head was starting to ache and the pain in her ankle was making her irritable. 

“I didn’t mean…” He stammered, and sighed. “I didn’t mean to seem cold. I just…Forgive me.” She tried to avoid his eyes, for she knew if she saw them she would melt. Eventually though, she looked up and examined his face. He seemed ashamed that he’d hurt her, and for a moment she thought he had clearly been harder on himself about it than she ever could be. The elevator jolted to a stop before she could speak and Cullen turned away to lock the brakes in place. When he turned back to her, she had regained her composure.

“It’s alright, Cullen. No harm done.” She stepped off of the elevator and he joined her again. “Oh I can go from here.” She felt his hands reluctantly fall away from her.

“Of course,” he sounded hurt, but she hadn’t actually meant to do that. At this point she simply didn’t want to trouble him further, but as she put full weight on her foot and yelped, her vision filled with stars. She gasped when she felt him scoop her up and her feet left the floor in a quick motion.

“Cullen. I said I’m-” 

“Quiet, Inquisitor.” His voice carried authority, and a twinge of something akin to impatience as he began the journey toward the remaining stairs to her quarters. “Just let me get you into bed.”

“Cullen!” She said, unable to stifle the sharp laugh that came with her words and she watched as his face flushed pink.

“I, uh...I-” 

She cut him off with a giggle, and after a moment heard him chuckle as well. With the tension broken, she allowed herself to enjoy being in his arms as he fulfilled his promise and sat her down gently on her large bed. When she was safely down he stepped back and ran a hand through his hair, something she noticed he often did when he was stressed or nervous. It was cute.

“Well,” he cleared his throat. “You should…” He smiled at her. “Get some rest.”

She returned his smile and decided all was forgiven. “Thank you, Cullen.”

He nodded and turned to leave, but as he approached the top of the stairs he turned to her again with his brow furrowed.

“There is… a matter I wish to discuss with you when you have the time.”

“What is it?” She asked. “If you like we can discuss it now.”

“No,” his response was quick. “You should rest. But when you’re feeling better, and you have a moment… well you know where to find me.”

She nodded and he bowed his head and made a quick exit. When she heard her door close she laid back on her soft mattress and sighed. It was becoming apparent to her that even if he angered her in the future it would be difficult to stay mad at him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I added an elevator because the thought of climbing all those stairs to her quarters just seems really funny to me. :D


	5. Chapter 5

“Cullen, do you have a moment?”

He looked up to see Elena standing in the doorway, her head cocked to the side. She was smiling, and it made his heart flutter. They hadn’t had a chance to talk much since she’d returned three days ago with a sprained ankle. His affectionate gaze fell from his face and he panicked when he remembered that he’d asked her to come see him. The more he thought about it the less prepared he admitted he was. These next few moments could change everything between them both personally and professionally in ways he couldn’t quit predict, and it unsettled him. In the few seconds he took to second guess his decision to share his burdens with her, her expression had grown concerned. 

“Cullen?” 

“Yes. I’m sorry. Please come in.” He moved passed her to close the door, which usually sat open, but their conversation would require a measure of privacy. “I see you’re ankle is feeling better.” She had it clearly wrapped under her boot and she appeared to be favoring it, though just slightly. 

“Much. I’m still limping a little, but I should be ready to get back out there in no time. The wonders of modern medicine.” She stepped closer to him and smiled again. There were moments that he thought her smile and the way it lit up her honey colored eyes might kill him. “You said there was something you wanted to talk about. That you hadn’t been yourself. Is everything alright?”

“Yes. Er...no. I…” Maker, this was harder than he had expected. He wondered if he should just play it all off as a joke, as a means to get her alone. He considered simply sweeping her up in a kiss and forgetting the whole thing. What if it changed the way she saw him, not just as a man, but as the commander of the Inquisition? He suddenly wished that he’d had more time to prepare what he might say.

“Cullen, what is it?” The businesslike tone in her voice meant that he had to tell her. Now was the time. 

He took a deep breath. “We’ve managed to secure a steady supply of lyrium coming in for the Templars within our ranks.”

She nodded. “Yes. I’m aware of that much.”

“Yes well I wanted to let you know that… I… no longer take it.” He paused, tried to gauge her immediate reaction, allowed the statement to sink in.

“You stopped?” Her eyes widened and he could practically see her thoughts turning as she might be recalling everything she’d ever learned about lyrium. As a Circle mage she had been around Templars, around lyrium, and knew what it could do to a person. “Isn’t that dangerous?” 

It was more of a statement than a question, he thought. Yes, it was dangerous. He knew of Templars that had died from withdrawal. He knew that some even went mad or ended up on the streets. It was as dangerous as any addiction could be. He decided to spare her the details.

“The withdrawal symptoms can be harsh. In fact, it’s why I acted so foolishly the other day.”

“Oh, Cullen I-” 

“I stopped months ago. As soon as I joined Cassandra in this cause. I did not mention it earlier because I have asked Cassandra to keep an eye on me.” He needed to get it out and over with. “I have asked her to step in, in the event that this interferes with my work.” He stood up straight and looked at her. “I wanted to tell you because as the leader of the Inquisition you’ve a right to know, and… for personal reasons, I wanted to share it.” He stepped closer to her, locked his eyes with hers and spoke with determination. “I give you my word that I will not let this compromise the Inquisition. I swear it.”

He wasn’t sure what to read on her face. She seemed to be considering his statement very carefully. Eventually she nodded and her eyes took on a sympathetic look. 

“Are you in pain?” she asked quietly. She took his hand in hers and squeezed. He returned it.

“I can endure it.” He believed that now more than ever. 

“Cullen you have my trust. I know that you would never do anything to compromise our cause. And I want you to do what’s best for you. Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me. You have my full support.” She slid her arms around his neck and hugged him, “I think you’re doing the right thing. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.” 

He supposed it shouldn’t have surprised him that she’d easily accepted this without question. For all of her strength and leadership, Elena also had a kind, compassionate heart. But was she right to offer her support? He felt much better knowing that she believed in him. He felt his resolve bolstered as he squeezed her back and buried his nose in her neck. She smelled lovely, and he closed his eyes and allowed the faint exotic floral scent to fill his nose. 

There was a heavy knock at the door, and it jostled Cullen out of his moment of serenity. “Just a moment,” he called. He looked at her again and brushed his thumb over her perfect cheekbone. “Thank you.” 

She smiled, kissed his cheek, pulled away from him, and then headed to the opposite door from which the knock had come. She turned and smiled again. “I’ll stop by again later.”

He looked after her as she left, sure that he’d made the right decision. He heard a second knock.

“Yes, come in,” he said, and he made sure to replace his pleasant expression with a far more serious one as his messenger walked in.


	6. Chapter 6

Elena smoothed down the fabric on the front of her simple yellow wool gown. She had to admit that Leliana was right. The warm color next to her caramel toned decolletage made her look radiant. In her daily life as Inquisitor, Elena wished she could fade into the background a bit more, She felt like she was always in the spotlight these days. The sudden day to day responsibilities heaped upon her had taken quite a bit of getting used to, and sometimes she wanted to just sit in her quarters and read a book.

Josephine had seen Elena’s recovery time at Skyhold as an opportunity to host a small soiree for a few visiting dignitaries. There were very few, and Elena often wished that they wouldn’t come at all. Did they have nothing better to do than tour Skyhold and their operation? Cullen often objected, usually on the basis of keeping sensitive military information confidential. He was right, but Elena also knew that had no patience for most nobles. In fact, she had expected him to make a similar judgment of her at one point. Thankfully it was a non-issue.

Elena double checked her hair, which she’d decided to leave down for the evening. She usually pulled the thick, shoulder length locks up into a messy bun or braid when she traveled and went around on official business in Skyhold, so the opportunity to look more relaxed was a welcome one. She clasped a small, delicate necklace around her throat, and the small gold circle that hung on it, sat just above the curves of her modest cleavage. As she applied a bit of color to her full lips, Elena thought it didn’t hurt every once in awhile to wear something pretty that wasn’t caked in mud and gore.

She’d barely entered into the main hall when Josephine whisked her up, handed her a glass of wine and dragged her from one person to the next. Unsurprisingly, very few of Elena’s comrades had joined the group. Dorian was there of course, being unable to pass up a party, Varric seemed happy to be entertaining a small group with one of his stories, and Vivienne, looking flawless as usual was holding court as if this was one of her salons. Elena saw Cassandra, who stood in her armor, looking miserable and scowling. She was sure she would excuse herself soon after making the required appearance. Sera was nowhere in sight, but she had threatened to poison the food and though Elena had thought it a joke, the thought gave pause as she nibbled a fruit pastry.

Halfway through listening to Duchess Margereux’s story about wild nugs raiding her castle larder, Elena glanced over to see Cullen speaking with a party guest. She wondered how long he’d been there. How long she had she been dragged about smiling, saying the right things, and thanking people for their charitable support of The Inquisition. She watched as two guests approached Cullen. He nodded at them and Elena was only half paying attention to the Duchess’ story now. Her eyes fought to focus on the woman speaking, but kept flicking to Cullen, just beyond the Duchess’ shoulder.

He was wearing his armor, a clear indication that he was very busy and couldn’t stay long. She imagined that was partially because it was true, and partially because he cared nothing of social politics. She watched him scan the room with his eyes, and she knew he was looking for her. It made her flutter and take a deep breath. When his eyes eventually landed on hers and locked in, her hand tightened slightly on her wine glass. When he looked away to the guests again, a small smile had appeared on his lips, and though it looked as if he was just being polite, she knew that it was for her. She felt herself blush a little, and then resumed listening to the Duchess’ boring tale.

By the time she finally extracted herself from the conversation, she was beginning to feel tipsy from the wine. It was fragrant and sweet and she savored it, knowing that she would be heading out into battle again soon.

It would be nice, she thought to share a bottle of wine with Cullen in her quarters. They hadn’t really been alone with each other for any private, extended period of time. She wanted to sit with him on her sofa and talk about their favorite things and their future. It was amazing that such moments that she had taken for granted for years came so few and far between now that she was with The Inquisition. She wanted to feel him lean in in the waning sunlight and catch her lips with his. She wanted to not feel rushed or urgent with her affection. And she wanted to see him stand naked before her, unhurried and uninhibited in his task of pleasing her.

She realized her face and chest were suddenly very hot. Her cheeks burned from the combination of wine and desire, and she felt desperately like she needed some fresh air. When she was sure no one was on their way to talk to her, and no one seemed to be looking, she slipped quietly out the side door and into the garden.

The late spring air was still quite brisk, and Elena was kissed by a momentary breeze that gave her a shiver, and made her nipples perk up under her dress. She inhaled the fresh, mountain air.

“I thought you might end up here.” Elena turned to find Cullen emerging from the doorway with a smile on his face. She laughed.

“Are you following me?” She raised an eyebrow in mock suspicion.

“Of course not Inquisitor.” He joked, then shrugged. “Actually yes, I had been hoping to steal you away for a moment.”

He joined her at the bannister and they both gazed out onto the garden. It was deserted, dark, and bathed in full blue moonlight. It offered a refreshing quiet aside from the muffled laughter and merriment coming from the keep behind them.

“I thought you’d left.”

“I wouldn’t have gone without telling you how lovely you look tonight.”

They exchanged a smile. “Thank you Cullen. It’s been awhile since I had an occasion to dress like this. I have to admit it’s a nice change from having dried dirt and blood in my hair.”

She watched him move closer out of the corner of her eye, and he took her hand on the bannister and held it gently. She found it incredible that the simple touch of his hand could have so much affect on her physically. Even a loose, innocent grasp made her pulse quicken.

“You always look beautiful, but you look especially breathtaking when you return through those gates safe and sound.” He chuckled. “Blood and all.” Elena loved his quiet, honest laugh. She got the sense that she was one of the only people to experience it much and the thought made her feel special.

“Well you know how to flatter a woman. Plan to ply me with compliments all night do you?”

“No. I only mean to be honest.” He lifted her hand, kissed the back of it, and then held it with both of his. She fingers started to lose their chill as his thumb caressed a small patch of skin on the back of her hand. He looked thoughtful as he gazed out onto the garden, and she studied the side of his handsome profile. He had shaved recently, probably this morning and the scruff that usually signified how busy he was hadn’t shown up yet.

He looked down at her hand again before he spoke. “I suppose then, in the interest of being honest… I want you to know that… when you’re gone I think about you almost constantly.” She had suspected as much, but to hear him say it invoked a girlish, gushy feeling of affection toward him. He looked at her and his voice softened. “And it’s not just because I like spending time with you. I also hate that I must watch you go off into danger without me.” The deep affection conveyed there in his golden eyes was the kind that made her heart ache.

“Cullen,”

“I know how it sounds,” He stepped closer to her. “And believe me, I know you can take care of yourself, It’s not meant as a comment on your capabilities.” One hand rested on her waist. “But I can’t help but worry about you.” He cupped her face on one side. “I only mean to say that I wish I could fight by your side.”

His genuine concern for her was touching. She thought about it and smiled. She went into battle all the time, and though the people she knew would hate for something to happen to her, would even protect her, she realized how nice it was to have someone who really cared for her, who missed her, who worried for her safety.

“I wish you could too,” she responded. “Aside from the obvious benefit of having you watching my back, I… sincerely miss you when I’m gone.” His honesty had inspired her to share her feelings as well. The thought of them sharing a tent crossed her mind, and she blushed just a little. “And since we’re being honest… I often think of you.” She allowed herself a subtle, flirtatious look. “Especially on those cold nights. when I’m alone in my tent.” With that statement, she felt as if she’d crossed a threshold, one that she couldn’t back through even if she’d wanted to. She had finally confessed to her thoughts of them sleeping together. It was likely unsurprising to him, but nevertheless unspoken before then.

She expected him to get flustered at the admission. She thought perhaps he would blush, but instead he held her gaze with confidence, smiled, and brought his lips close to hers.

“I would be very happy for the chance to keep you warm.” His low, quiet voice dragged across her skin, leaving her body instantaneously aroused. She wasn’t sure if it was the romantic, relaxed atmosphere, or the wine that inspired their sudden shift in conversation, and she didn’t care. He’d complimented her before, joked in a flirtatious manner, and had taken the initiative to kiss her. but this was the first time he’d said anything blatantly suggestive like this. The warm wetness between her legs and her pounding heart proved how much she wanted more of it.

It seemed the perfect night to invite him to her quarters. All of the pieces had fallen into place and she suddenly felt as if she might die if she couldn’t have him inside of her. She wanted this, and she could tell by the way he was looking at her that he did too.

He moved in to kiss her then, but she was startled and jumped when the door to the garden burst open, and a remarkably drunk Bann Angmir came stumbling out.

“You have got to be kidding me…” Cullen muttered under his breath. Elena would have laughed, recalling their comical tendency to be interrupted by people, but she was annoyed more than anything.

“Thereyouare,” the man slurred, taking a couple of wobbly steps toward Elena. “I have been looking for you.”

“Hello Bann Angmir,” Elena sighed. “Enjoying the wine I see?”

“Yes,” he said and added an emphatic gesture to go along with it. He smiled and raised an eyebrow and tried to focus on Elena’s expressionless face. “I wann-ed to finish our delightful commbersation.”

“Our conversation?” As far as Elena knew they had merely spoken about his family earlier aside from a compliment about her appearance.

“Oh you’re so coy,” he winked. “I know when a woman is inta-ress-ded, and you my dear were acting very inta-ress-ded.”

“You’re drunk.” Cullen’s voice had returned to the stern, grumpy tone he always used with his troops. He crossed his arms and stood firmly in place, The Bann ignored him.

“You promised me a peek at those delishuz, perky, apples.” Elena’s eyes widened as she watched the man’s hand clumsily reach out for her breasts. With a small gasp, and her newly honed combat reflexes she firmly batted his hand away before it got to her, and in a flash pummeled his nose with the heel of her hand.

He howled and reached at his gushing face, fell to his knees and grabbed at Elena’s dress on his way down to the stone leaving bloody handprints on the skirt. She did her best to yank away and then saw Cullen swoop in, grab the man by the lapels and effortlessly return him to his staggering feet. The anger on Cullen’s face was so intense that Elena thought he might add another punch for good measure.

“What is going on?!” Both Josephine and Leliana emerged from the doorway with confused shock on their faces.

“The Bann here attempted to grope the Inquisitor so she rightfully broke his nose.” There was a subtle growl underneath Cullen’s words as he held the somewhat limp man upright. His nose was indeed, obviously broken and bleeding all over his expensive shirt.

“Oh dear,” Josephine said. “Are you alright Inquisitor?”

“I’m fine,” she answered quickly and crossed her arms over her chest. “The Bann could use some help though.” She wasn’t shaken, just furious.

“I demann n ‘polgy!” The Bann’s nasally drunk whine carried on the air across the garden, and Elena was hoping it wouldn’t cause a crowd to emerge from the party.

“An apology!” Josephine scoffed. “I think not, sir. Your boorish behavior is a disgrace to your good name.”

“And you will not mention this to anyone if you know what’s good for you.” Leliana chimed in.

“Yes. We shall have a discussion tomorrow after you have sobered up.” Josephine shook her head.

The bann was quietly crying, holding his face. “My nooooose…” Elena felt a little guilty. She hadn’t actually meant to hit him that hard, but her fight instinct and adrenaline had made her punch much more forceful than it needed to be.

Josephine sighed. “I suppose I should get him to the infirmary.”

“I’ll take him,” Cullen said, moving his grip to the Bann’s shirt in the back. He looked as if he was the only thing keeping the man standing. “He can stay there the night for all I care.”

“Thank you. I should go make sure no one has heard the kerfuffle.” Josephine turned on her heels and scurried back into the party.

Cullen, clearly aware of Leliana’s attentive presence, gave Elena a sharp nod. “Inquisitor, we’ll finish our discussion another time.” He dragged the man off, leaving the two women standing silently. Eventually Leliana giggled, and after a second Elena did too.

“My goodness,” Leliana laughed. “What an embarrassment. Don’t worry. I have enough dirt on that man to make sure he doesn’t slander us.”

“You frighten me sometimes, Leliana. Do you know that?” They exchanged a smile.

“It is unfortunate that your… discussion was interrupted.” Leliana smirked.

“Yes,” Elena cleared her throat. “No matter. It wasn’t important.”

“I see.”

“I think I’ll call it a night,” Elena said, very ready to escape Leliana’s smirk. “Josephine should give my regards to the guests, considering I’m covered in blood now.”

“Oh your poor dress.” It was the first moment Leliana looked absolutely horrified.

“It’s alright,” Elena shrugged. “I suppose I’m used to it by now. Good night, Leliana.”

“Good night, Inquisitor.”

Elena headed off in the direction of her quarters, suddenly feeling very tired. There was no hope of salvaging the romance of the evening, so with a scowl on her face she took the long, deserted way to her quarters, filled with utter disappointment.

_Well...shit._


	7. Chapter 7

By the time Cullen got the Bann to the infirmary, the man was crying and trying to apologize to him. Cullen’s anger had diminished to sheer annoyance and even pity by that point. He explained that the man needed assistance and asked them to keep him overnight, then left as quickly as possible. He was well aware that his potential romantic evening with Elena had been destroyed, and though he wanted to, he decided not to call on her in her quarters. He couldn’t imagine she would be in the mood for anything after punching a man in the face and cleaning blood off of her knuckles. He headed to his own living space, removed his armor and overshirt, and proceeded to get comfortable. It was early still, so he thought he might get some work done. 

He’d brought some reports up to his quarters and sat on the bed to look over them in the candle light. But his thoughts soon strayed to Elena. She’d looked so beautiful earlier he could barely stand it. If it had not been for that idiot Bann, Cullen realized he would probably be with Elena right now, kissing her, touching her, likely making love to her. The thought sent a twitch and tingle to his cock and he suspected he would be getting no work done. 

She’d all but invited him to be with her tonight. She said she thought of him alone at night when she was away. His knees had nearly buckled when she said it, and it had given him the permission to reciprocate the bold sentiment. Elena was a kind, brave, intelligent, strong woman, and these were among the many qualities that made him care for her. But he wasn’t thinking about those now. As he lay on his bed, propped up against his headboard he thought of how beautiful she was, and how she’d looked earlier. 

He’d watched her move about the party, watched her laugh and smile and sip her wine. He had tried not to stare, but the yellow dress she wore had seemed to make her glow. She was stunning, and he could barely look away. In the garden, her eyes sparkled in the moonlight, and the way the shadows fell on the contours of her breasts made his blood run hot. He hadn’t wanted to stare, but he’d certainly noticed the barely there outline of her chill affected nipples. The memory stirred him, and he felt himself grow a bit stiffer at the thought.

He’d nearly kissed her, and hadn’t in the last couple of days. He closed his eyes and thought of her lips. They were always gorgeous and pillowy, even without additional color, but the shade she’d worn earlier had accentuated their full softness. He regretted terribly that he hadn’t tasted them. If that damnable man hadn’t interrupted, Cullen’s tongue would be flicking at hers and she would be sighing into his mouth. 

He’d given up entirely on going over reports, opting instead to indulge in his thoughts for awhile. He’d had fleeting moments of fantasy about Elena, but nothing that required him to take care of himself in a private fashion. He tried to remember the last time he’d simply allowed himself to have a real release. It must have been months, he thought. He was always so busy, so tired, so focused, that it mostly never occurred to him. But tonight he thought he might indulge himself.

In his fantasy, he lead her to the darkened garden gazebo, and in the low light pressed her against the wall. She gasped at the feeling of cold stone on her back, and then they laughed and kissed again. The happy coo that escaped her lips when he kissed her neck drove him wild. She exhaled a shaky breath, turned them, and pushed him down to the bench.

In his thoughts, he wore no armor, had less to separate his body from hers. She stood before him and slowly unlaced the bodice of her yellow dress, a sultry smile set upon her face. The tortuously slow act had him impatiently reaching for the laces himself, helping her loosen them until he was able to pull one side of her gown away to reveal her breast in the moonlight. He reached up and covered it with his full hand, her hard nipple at the center of his palm. His mouth soon followed, taking the dark pink nub into his mouth and sucking gently. He heard her moan.

He wasn’t sure when his hand had grabbed onto his cock through his pants, but through the fabric he squeezed and rubbed a little. When he pictured her moving to straddle his lap, he undid his pants, took himself out, gripped firmly and began a slow, casual stroke up and down his thick shaft. He closed his eyes, and returned to his fantasy.

She kissed him and reached down to fumble with his belt and fastenings. When she freed him she glanced down, smiled, drank in the sight of him. And then she kissed him again. With his eyes locked on hers, he grabbed the skirt of her dress and slid it up her thighs slowly, making sure to reposition the fabric so that nothing stood between them. 

She reached down, held him, and positioned him at her precipice. As she slid slowly onto him, taking him into her, she closed her eyes, smiled, and allowed a soft “Mm” to escape her. As she began to move on him, his hands gripped her soft bottom, gently aiding her rolling hips and her up and down rhythm. He watched her face as she rode him at a measured pace and the pleasure written on her expression brought him close to the edge. 

When her breathing finally quickened, and her motion became more needful, she whispered his name, tilted her head back and climaxed. That was enough for him.

He opened his eyes, looked down at thick, long, flushed pink member in his grip and concentrated on bringing about his own orgasm. When it finally hit, he felt his balls jump and tighten, his cock spasm, and his lower abdomen seize. He was quiet, the sound of it arriving in the form of slightly heavier breathing. He closed his eyes, rested his head back on the headboard, and came. Warm cum pumped up and out of him and spilled over his knuckles. He pulled and squeezed, slickened by his own fluids and savored the sensation until finally he was so sensitive that even the night air seemed determined to make any touch unbearable.

When he opened his eyes, he saw stars and loosened his grip on the still twitching flesh under his palm. He took a moment to slow his breathing, and then glanced around for something with which to clean up. Helplessly devoid of any cloth within arm’s reach, he stood and found his towel next to his basin. The soft material may as well have been sandpaper on him as he cleaned up. He removed his pants, saw that they had somehow been spared being soiled, and then tossed them over the foot of the bed. In his undergarments, he blew out his lantern climbed into bed, shoved his forgotten documents to the side and lay down.

Before losing himself to his sudden sleepiness, he imagined what it would be like to lay with Elena and hold her in her afterglow. He pictured her body entangled with his as she slipped peacefully into post coital slumber. 

With this thought, he joined her with a small smile on his face.


	8. Chapter 8

Elena had awakened feeling cranky and frustrated from the night before. Part of her wanted to punch the Bann in the face again, but she knew her feelings were irrational. Her sexual frustration was making her feel aggressive. Good. She would need that for the next couple of weeks. She’d had trouble sleeping and had been restless the whole night with thoughts of Cullen. In hindsight, she thought she could have at least fantasized about him, but she was too disappointed to do anything but pout and shift and sigh in the dark. When she did sleep, she had strange dreams, including an awkward sexual one about Bann Angmir. It had ruined her night and she knew that today she had bags under her eyes.

Preparations for her departure were finished. She’d met with her advisors, and talked over the mission objectives. It had been difficult to concentrate standing next to Cullen as he spoke with the confident, expert voice that she had come to respect. Usually, her focus was on the content of his words, but this morning she had felt as if his forceful terminology and active planning were tickling her in a way that made her want to tackle him on the war table in front of everyone. Their conversation had opened a gate which could not be closed, and she worried that from now on every time he spoke, breathed, or was near her she would be mad with desire. She liked it when he took charge of the war room, and as she headed up the stairs to his office to say a private goodbye, she toyed with the idea that it would be fun to have him take charge in the bedroom as well. 

When she tried to enter the office, Elena ran right into Cullen, bouncing off of his metal breast plate with an “oof.” His imposing, strong frame knocked her back just a little and she felt his arms catch her before she lost her balance. They both laughed and stepped apart. 

“Sorry,” he said. “I was hurrying. I wanted to see you,” He stepped aside to let her into his office and then closed the door behind him. The other doors were already closed and that left them alone together, which Elena planned on taking full advantage of. 

She wasted no time in putting her arms around his shoulders and pulling him down to kiss her. He clearly had the same idea and in their wordless greeting, the two of them held each other and kissed for a few seconds. When they parted, he touched her face and gave her a crooked smile.

 

“I wish that had been a hello kiss instead of a goodbye one.” She felt his thumb graze her cheekbone and she got lost in his adoring, well rested eyes. 

“I wish that too. Sleep well?” She could have sworn she saw his cheeks turn just a little pink before he chuckled. She wondered what he’d been thinking of in that second. She smiled back.

“What about you?” he asked, confining her to a casual embrace more conducive to conversation. “Did you get some rest? You have a long journey ahead.” She realized she must actually look tired, but she appreciated his tact in not pointing it out so obviously.

“Some,” she sighed.

“Thinking about the task at hand?” 

“No,” she said frankly and shot him a knowing look. “I’d say my thoughts were more about how I wish we’d been able to… finish our discussion.” 

“Maker, I wish that too,” he said quickly. “I mean… I…” She grinned. He seemed to fight off an embarrassed smile. “What I mean to say is that… well perhaps when you get back we’ll… pick up where we left off.” His last few words felt like warm honey and silk, and Elena shifted slightly as a warm moisture manifested in her core. With his nerves seemingly gone he brought his lips to hers again.

She kissed back, harder this time. She felt like she needed to kiss him enough to last them both, to keep them through the next few weeks while she was gone. Her fingers were in his hair, his hands gripped her waist and pulled her close. Their tongues wrestled gently amidst their quickened breath. When their mouths finally parted, their foreheads rested on each other. Elena’s heart was pounding.

“I’ll miss you,” he said simply. “Please be careful,” She cupped his face on either side with her hands and felt the prickly stubble that had emerged since the night before. 

“I will.” He pulled her into a tight hug and she felt him bury his nose in the crook of her neck. She closed her eyes and simply enjoyed being held by him. She was seen by all as the protector, and sometimes she felt like she needed protection too. Cullen’s arms offered solace from the pressures and expectations of everyone around her. She would remember the warmth of his embrace during the hard road ahead.

When she pulled back, she felt his arms reluctantly release their grip on her. He took her hand, raised her palm to his lips, and kissed it with his eyes locked on hers. “Come back to me soon.”

“Is that an order, Commander?”

He laughed. “It is. I shall expect you to follow it.” There was the soldier’s voice that she had made her tremble deliciously earlier in the war room, as it did now.

They shared a smile, and she lifted up onto her toes to find his lips again, placing three short, smiling kisses upon them. She turned, opened the door and glanced at him once more before heading out into the bright sunlight. One day, perhaps this would all be over, she thought. She repeated the notion to herself, instilling the kind of hope she would need to get through the next month.


End file.
